Sunday, September 4, 2016

The first AND the second trimesters

I had every intention to make a more regular account of my pregnancy, but time is going by fast and here I am going into my third trimester making my very first account! I have felt really grateful up to this point *currently knocking on wood* that although my body wasn't awesome at getting pregnant, its been killing it at being pregnant! I laugh sometimes because I remember during the time between when we transferred our embryo and I went in for the blood test I spent a lot of time over thinking how I should be feeling if I was pregnant, trying to give myself some sort of hint if I was or wasn't. I remember feeling no different at all, which contributed a lot to the anxiety I felt prior to getting our results. And then I fast forward to now and if I was still just going off how I felt, I would probably still guess that I wasn't pregnant -- minus my growing belly and the adorable little baby kicks!!

SYMPTOMS, I have had a few...but honestly not many, I kind of feel dumb even recording them because they are so not anything to complain about, but here's to trying to make an accurate account! During the first trimester, from about 7-10 weeks I was tired, not so tired that I felt like I had to nap, but drowsy like I was in a constant haze. Other than those few weeks my energy has been great! At 17 weeks there was one weekend where I started feeling nauseous after I would eat, it was the weekend before our gender reveal party and my birthday, and I really thought the whole no nausea thing was going to be history, but it must have just been a weird couple days because it hasn't happened again. Probably the worst symptom I have had is heartburn, it was really bad at the beginning of my second trimester and lasted probably a month. It was constant, all the time, no matter what I ate, no matter what time of day, it was there. I do get it occasionally still but not as bad and no where close to as frequent.

I wouldn't say that I have had weirder dreams than I do normally, but I definitely remember my dreams a lot more. I have actually woke up crying from dreams twice now. Speaking of crying, I thought I would for sure experience the EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER frequently that everyone talks about pregnancy bringing on, but so far I only have one ridiculous crying story (that was not due to a dream). It was caused by a combination of a bunch of really stupid things. It was a Friday afternoon and I had gotten off work a little early for a meeting with a co-worker. The meeting ended up being really frustrating and drawn out way longer than it needed to be. From there I went straight to Target to find a swimsuit for our annual company party, on my drive to Target I was talking to Bryce on the phone and decided to get really mad at him for not dropping off my Joss and Main return in the mail at the exact moment I wanted him to. Because, duh, how could he not take returning my Joss and Main package so seriously? He in turn got frustrated back and told me I was being a nag, which was not a good choice of words. Once I got to Target and started shopping I should have turned right around and left because I suddenly got really hungry and thirsty and didn't have anything to eat or drink...which is obviously not a good way to start anything. The swimsuits ended up being a jumbled mess, in true American Fork Target style. Once I finally found a couple to try on I dragged my annoyed, frustrated, angry, hungry, and thirsty self into the dressing room, took off my shoes to try on my suits, and literally stepped into a pile of dirt. I still have no idea how in the heck so much dirt got onto the dressing room floor but it completely covered the bottom of my feet and sent me right. over. the. edge. I drove home, cried, took a nap, woke up, cried some more to Bryce once he got home from work and told him he was not allowed to call me a nag ever again. Realized I probably deserved being called a nag and apologized to him, cried some more from being frustrated that I couldn't get a handle on my emotions and then finally got over it. It was the most frustrating afternoon all due to a bunch of things that normally would have rolled right off my back. I feel so sorry for any and all woman who have to experience that frequently throughout their pregnancy! It felt like an outer body experience where I witnessed myself getting closer and closer to exploding and I couldn't stop it or steer myself in any other direction!

I haven't had any weird food CRAVINGS and have been able to keep a relatively normal and healthy diet. I have experienced the pickle craving cliche for sure, I love pickles normally so eating pickles is not odd, but I've been eating them a lot, at least one every day, they are typically the first thing I eat when I get home for work. I did experience the normal meat diversion that a lot of pregnant women do. I didn't have an issue with meat being in things, it was just when meat was by itself that I would loose my appetite. I've been able to continue working out, although the bigger my belly gets the more adjustments I have to make to my workouts. I try to do one-two resistance workouts a week, one cardio, and one yoga. I think the baby likes yoga, he always seems to be having a party in there every time I finish.

I don't know if it's fair or inconsiderate for me to say, because I know that this is not the case for everyone, but pregnancy for me has been dreamy! I know I've never felt happier, the the fact that I'm growing a little human inside of me is the most miraculous and humbling thing, part of me wants to hold him hostage in there forever! And now that my belly is growing and I feel him wiggle and kick on the regular (due to my placenta being anterior I didn't feel him kick until I was 21 weeks) it makes this experience feel so much more real.

Even more than the kicking, my favorite part, by far really, has been sharing this experience with Bryce. I have always felt like Bryce and I have a great marriage, but growing a baby together has brought with it a bond that makes my heart feel like it could literally explode. I would always get a little "judgey" (and by a little, I mean a lot) of couples that would say "to save our marriage we decided to have a baby" I always thought - wow, if things are hard, probably don't throw a baby into the mix, that is definitely not going to fix your problems! But now I'm thinking maybe they weren't so crazy. There is just something about having this intense mutual interest and love that really brings you closer, closer than I could have imagined. I obviously knew that Bryce would love our baby, but I couldn't have known how much. He is already the best dad.

Here are my two baby bump photos. If this bump continues to grow as much as it has in the last five weeks then I think I have the potential be pretty large and in charge by the end of this!

21 workout. I swear it looked bigger in person than it turned out in this photo.

26 Weeks...I wear this sweatpants a lot these days!

If the third trimester is even half as good as the first two have been then I'm so ready for it! Hears to hoping I don't blow up like a balloon...although if I do, I would still think it was more than worth it!

Saturday, July 9, 2016

When we found out we created a BABY

So. In effort to capture the memory of the biggest and best news Bryce and I have ever gotten I am writing a blog post...I would say and will be writing many more but judging by the amount of posts where I have vowed to never go on a blog hiatus again...and then have...that statement would be hardly credible. You likely already heard when we posted on my birthday, but just in case you missed it...


The fact that I have been completely hush hush about our journey to get here via the social media world you are probably wondering if the caps lock is how I really feel, but truth is we have been waiting what seems like a lifetime to get the news that we are going to be parents! (I go back and forth about sharing our struggle with infertility online and haven't quite decided how much detail would be helpful for the world to know, or for me to share...we'll see...maybe more will be coming)

Since we did IVF (Invitro Fertilization) it made the experience of finding out the good news unique and in a lot of ways really special. One being that Bryce actually got to tell me that I was pregnant.

Our sweet baby was conceived in a laboratory, not the most romantic setting, but modern medicine very much came to our rescue after years of trying on our own. We did the transfer (where they take the most viable fertilized egg(s) from the process and insert it into your uterus) on March 21st, and then after me spending the following two days on bed rest (a standard when doing IVF) we flew to California for a long weekend to celebrate our 5 year anniversary at Bryce's uncles beach house in Pacific Grove. We planned the trip prior to us knowing that our previous attempts at pregnancy would be exhausted and we would be doing IVF, but the timing could not have been more perfect and the trip became a combination of celebration of our 5 year and relaxation from the nearly two month process of  IVF being over.

We spent all weekend making little baby comments, what at the time kind of felt like "pretending" I was pregnant, trying to keep the process positive and lighthearted. We joked on our flight home that Sunday because when I was going through security the lady running the line pulled me aside and told me something came up on the scan and then proceeded to pat down my stomach. I've been told that little zygotes don't show up on airport scans, but I'm still convinced that security lady was the first to know our good news!

The next three days until our test that Thursday (10 days after our transfer) were rough. I was back at work and being back in the swing of things brought with it a flood of what I felt like was "reality". "Reality" being the fact that up to this point we had never gotten pregnant, and as much as I wanted to,  my mind couldn't even imagine getting a positive pregnancy test after 3 long years of seeing negative after negative after negative. I was a bigger mess emotionally than I had ever been throughout the last three years. I felt completely vulnerable and stressed and scared, all of which I fought so hard because if I was pregnant then feeling that way was bad for our baby...but then the thoughts would creep back into my head, but what if I wasn't? Ugggghh...the loooooongest three days, just thinking about them is hard!

And then finally, Thursday, March 31st came. Bryce had given me the sweetest blessing the night before and so the day of I actually felt better than I had all week, still emotional, but much more calm. We had made prior arrangements with the fertility clinic that I would go in for my blood draw that morning and then when they got the test results back they would NOT call me, they would call Bryce, who would then wait until I got off work and was in a more appropriate place to have a serious breakdown just in case bad news, was the news we got.

Bryce drove me to the clinic for the blood draw early that morning before work, both of us pretty much completely silent. When we got back, Bryce's friends 4 runner was dead which was what he was going to drive to work, so we jumped it and then said goodbye and headed our separate ways to work.

Late morning I got flowers delivered, I assumed they were from a co worker, friend, or someone in my family (since at this point there were quite a few people aware that today was the day we got our results) and so I was surprised when I opened the note and they were from Bryce. The note read "4 weeks 3 a day, Love Bryce". Obviously the flower shop had made a typo--or whoever wrote it writes a really weird "and" sign, anyone would have been able to read through that and known what the note meant. I think I must have been in too much shock from feeling like I knew what the note meant to really think clearly and realize I knew what the note meant. Plus I had no idea Bryce would be getting the results that early, and even if he had, how in the heck did he get flowers delivered so quick?! And so I called Bryce and had him tell me again that we really were pregnant, and again, and again, and again. Trying to capture in words how I felt in that moment is honestly really hard. It was a combination of surprise and happiness on a level that I have never felt either before...which made me cry immediately and left my physically shaking for at least an hour afterwards. It felt totally and completely surreal, honestly there are a lot of moments it still does.

That night we went out to dinner to celebrate at Ruths Chris, compliments of our sweet friend J who had given us a gift card to tell us congrats! Anytime Bryce would look at me that night I would instantly smile because all I could think was I was growing a little baby inside of me, our little baby, and if there is anything that infertility has taught me, it is that, that is the most incredible blessing! Babies are freaking miracles guys, that's all there is to it...and we had finally created one!

And now, even still, at nearly 19 weeks, I feel like I am living in a constant state of euphoria, I am inexpressibly happy and grateful! I will never forget the moments of empty and helplessness when I thought maybe I could never have you, I will love you forever and ever and ever baby!

Friday, February 28, 2014

If you ever find yourself in Portland...

I feel like Portland has one big, fat chunk of my heart and it is holding it hostage. Maybe it's a sign that one day we will venture back to the Northwest and live happily ever after? Or maybe I'll get over it and fall madly in love with Utah? I know its been barely months since our move so maybe I'm being a bit melodramatic, but *small sigh* I miss it. I miss the familiarity, I miss our ward, I miss the trees and the green, I really really miss the green, I miss my old co-worker friends, I miss my german yoga teacher, I miss the yummy food, I miss the wierdos, I even miss our bat cave of an apartment sometimes...mostly I think I just miss it all.

I decided as I was sitting here feeling sad and homesick for some yummy Gyro House Hummus and the sound of rain outside the window to compile a list of Portland musts so I don't forget anything when we go back and visit...or for when we move back :) ... or for you because you should definitely go visit.

Where to eat...oh where to even begin. Portland has the yummiest, the yummiest food, here are the places that made the top of the list and a few that we didn't get a chance to visit that I want to make sure we do visit when we go back

-The Screen Door. Go on Saturday morning for brunch and get the Chicken and Waffles or the Po Boy, you will not regret either. Yum.
-Montage Bistro. It may seem like it's in a sketchy part of town and the wait will probably be annoying but their Mac n' Cheese takes Mac n' Cheese to a whole new level.
-Fireside Grill for the best burger you've ever had. Even better than 5 guys off 185th and that is saying a lot coming from me.
-Gyro House. They have, without a shadow of a doubt the best hummus there ever was and unfortunately for me, probably ever will be. I'm ruined and have been snubbing my nose at every hummus I've tried since.
-Masu or Yuki for the best sushi. Masu for somewhere nicer, Yuki for cheaper but debatably just as good. To be honest pretty much all sushi in the Northwest is incredible, so I guess just sushi on this sushi.
-Big A** Sandwiches. It's a food cart, but it's delicious. Imagine a fat sandwich stuffed with French fries.
-Papa Haydens for the best dessert. It may seem a little fancy, "foodie" if you will, but give it a chance. They have a plethora of desserts and I never tried one that wasn't divine.
-Irving Street Kitchen. Forget any appetizers or main course on this one and go straight for dessert. Their Butterscotch Pudding is i.n.c.r.e.d.i.b.l.e. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

And two places that we didn't make it to that I can't wait to go back and try.

-The Country Cat. My mother-in-law saw this one on Diners and Dishes, we tried to go a couple of times but they had weird hours and we always caught them when they were closed.
-Marrakesh Authentic Moroccan. We were waiting for a special occasion for this one, mostly I just wanted to go for the experience of eating Moroccan food, I mean who doesn't want to eat any entire meal with their hands? And we heard from friends the food is really good!


-For mall shopping go to either Pioneer Place or Washington Square...not the Lloyd center it is ghetto.
-Crossroads Trading on 23rd Street. This is the best little consignment store, I would take my old clothes in there all the time, get store credit, and then buy new ones. They always had something that I would fall in love with!
-The Goodwill. I'm being serious...I miss it more than I can express. And my poor eBay business is sadly going to be closing soon without it. Don't suggest the DI to me, it is not even in the same realm.
-Shops off 23rd street. A lot of them are high end, but they are really fun to window shop...or if your bank account is significantly larger than mine, shop your heart out at!

Site Seeing:

-The Beach, obviously. Pacific City was our absolute favorite. It's the least crowded and for some reason the least windy, maybe has something to do with the fat dune on the north side of the beach?
-The city is super fun to just walk around, or bike through. Portland is possibly the most bike friendly city there is. Go on a Saturday and you can check out the huge Saturday Market.
-Willamette Falls, Silver Creek Falls, the Punchbowl...tons and tons of amazing waterfall/hikes to do.
-Bagby Hot Springs. I always love a good hot tub sesh and these "hot tubs" are in the middle of the beautiful northwest forest. It's a short hike out to them and they don't allow nudity, so 100% all age friendly!
-VooDoo Donuts...I consider this more of site seeing because realistically their donuts aren't that incredible, its more the "experience". Be adventurous and get the maple bacon bar!

I'm sure I'm leaving out much fun in one little city. And I know Utah deserves a much bigger chance, but so far my "fun things to do in Utah" list has got absolutely nothing on this one!

Monday, December 30, 2013

How to do Christmas the wrong way

With the big/stressful news of moving to a different state and the little time we had to do it, we kind of decided to ignore Christmas this year. Which to be honest, I have no idea where this idea came from. I LOVE Christmas, and I am the best present giver...I guess even I have an inner Scrooge. But if you want your holiday season to not feel like the holiday season at all then I totally have some great tips for you...

1. Don't buy presents for your significant other, instead give them money to go buy their own presents. Give them the idea to do the same for you.
2. Don't wrap any of those presents you ended up buying for yourselves.
3. Decide together that you won't wear/use those gifts until Christmas, but then scratch that idea and tear the tags off early. Ensuring there will be no excitement for Christmas Morning.
4. Don't put up any Christmas decorations.
5. Number 4 will inevitably lead to forgetting to play any Christmas Music, so you don't have to worry about that.
6. Get sick....really sick, on Christmas morning. Go back to sleep and don't wake up until Christmas is half way over.
7. On Christmas Day just take two, very unchristmasy pictures to make sure you remember your very unchristmasy holiday.

Yeah, we really learned our lesson. Never decide life is too stressful to celebrate the holidays, because chances are life will settle down and then the week of Christmas will just be sad...really, really sad. Here's to already planning to go overboard next year to make up for it!

We did luck out with awesome friends and family that made sure we had presents to open on Christmas morning...well, Christmas afternoon for me. And we went to Temple Square to see all the sparkling lights, twice.

Bryce and Harper are besties...that boy really needs a baby! 

Hoping your holiday was a good one, and feeling thankful we have awesome people in our lives that made sure ours ended up being pretty good too!

Oh hey, we moved to Utah!

I know, its been a while, but you haven't been left out of the loop for too long on this one! We just got here on the 12th. Bryce had been casually looking for a different job since Julyish but most were in the Portland area so we weren't really expecting to be up and leaving the beautiful Northwest quite yet, and especially not with just the 3 weeks notice we got! I'm still not sure I was ready. It has been a big jumbled mix of emotions between a great job opportunity for Bryce, being closer to basically everyone that we love, and leaving, debatably, my most favorite place I've ever lived. It has been both sad and happy, that's for sure.

But we're here, we found a place just two days after we arrived, Bryce loved his first week at Adobe, and we've had a really great holiday close to family! I'm still using my GPS everywhere I go and am yet to embark on the journey of finding a job but we've agreed that we both like it here. Except, for the horrid inversion that makes me afraid to breathe...everyone keeps saying the mountains in Utah are so beautiful but honestly, I don't feel like I've even been able to see them yet. Not to sound pessimistic, but I would take the rain of Portland over the clouds of dirty air here any day!

Portland, we will probably always be missing you. I mean you were our first real adventure as a married couple...

...mountains and all there is no way Utah will ever out beat your beauty, but we are remaining optimistic for this new adventure. So Utah, impress us.

Monday, October 28, 2013

That 70's Couple

Back when we were dating Bryce never, ever wanted to dress up for Halloween. Especially not in any cheesy couple costume. But somewhere between then and now, he's changed. Maybe because he feels like getting ahead in the career world requires you to attend every. single. work. function. ever. And evidentially be a good sport about it too because not only have we dressed up for the last two years, we have sported only the cheesiest of couple costumes. Check out last years costume here.

Bryce's Halloween work party was Saturday night. Figuring out what to go as is always a headache, and his work parties are never too hopping, but dressing up is fun. We went as a 70's couple, and Bryce wore the biggest afro wig there ever was (this pic doesn't even do it justice). We tried to put a bandana on him, but it got lost in all the hair and you couldn't even see it!

FYI, I bought this dress months ago and wear it for reals. It is one of my favs. I think we totally could have rocked the 70's...I mean Bryce with an afro? So hot ;)

Friday, September 27, 2013

When life goes from exciting to just,

So today I remembered I have a blog. Like one I used to write on more than every other month. I'm not sure what happened. I think I may of started to feel a bit unexciting. At the start we were newly weds, so of course that's exciting keeping up with all our "firsts"... first apartment, first Christmas, first anniversary, etc. etc. And then we moved. My very first time living outside Idaho and not only that, but to a city big enough to have suburbs. And now, even though I like settling down, I like comfortable...I could possibly even venture to say I like unexciting, it's putting me in a huge "out of blogging" funk.

I guess this is when people introduce a cute little baby face into their lives and it becomes the exciting new star of their blog. Shoot. I promise we don't have one of those up our sleeves, although if you ever saw Bryce dragging me away from the baby clothes section, which seems to be happening frequently lately, you would probably think otherwise. What's wrong with buying baby clothes when you don't actually have a baby anyway? I'm sure people do that.

Even though life is just life I should still be able to blog. SO, here's our lastest...

I'm in school again...again...again clearly I'm feeling tired of school. Just let me graduate already! I feel like the superest super senior there ever was.

Bryce is working like regular, he's fishing today for a work trip thing, so we will probably be eating fish all weekend.

Bryce's parents came out to visit, well, a couple weeks ago now...gosh, I swore I was going to blog right after they left...and here we are 2 weeks later. They stayed for a week and we spent the majority of the time at the beach going all up and down the coastline to all the fun beaches. And played Monopoly Deal, lots and lots of Monopoly Deal.

At a museum in Astoria...

Uncle John and Aunt Jan's beach house in Gearhart, where we stayed one night before heading to Lincoln City.

The Newport Aquarium...

Shipwreck beach? ...or maybe that wasn't the actual name?

and Lincoln City...

Carri and Tom really set us up with a nice condo right on the beach with a hot tub (I think that one was purely for me), and feed us lots and lots of food. I think I weighed 10 pounds more when they left! They brought all Bryce's things they still had at their house, with them too, including lots of baby and mission pictures. I will have to share that sometime was about 3 days of fun looking through it all!

As much as we enjoy it just being the two of us, we really love our visitors! I will say it is one really nice plus to living far away because then they come and stay for longer than a day or two at a time!

Okay, so I will try to be back soon...really, this time.